Narrative immersion

Over the past fortnight we have been reading a variety of narrative styles. We have particularly focused on the text structure and explored new adjectives and adverbs to enhance the meaning and description of our writing. For a writing task, the class shared the narrative below. Students highlighted the adjectivesand verbs in different colours. They then edited the piece and replaced the highlighted words with new words to enhance the meaning. The narrative, ‘I am a Possum’ is below.

I am a possum

One morning I climbed out of my tree to search for some food.

Suddenly I heard the noise of someone running and there was shouting. I stooddead still. I was terrified. Then I saw a foot, and my muscles came into action. I ran for all I was worth into some bushes.

The noise stopped. “Hey, Charlie! Get a box. I saw something move in the bushes,” said a voice. I saw a big thing coming at me, and then the mosthorrible face I ever dreamed of.

Suddenly it was dark. I was inside something. There were strange noises all around me. “Can I have a look?” asked someone.

“No, he might get out!”

Then there was an enormous roar. After a few moments it stopped and I was carried somewhere. The lid opened and a flood of light came into the thing. I climbed out cautiously and looked around. There were humans.

I shot back into the box. (I had realised that the thing was a box, and I huddled into a corner.) A hand grasped me and, almost chocking me, pulled me into the light.

That night I was put into a small cage made of rabbit-proof wire……….ADD YOUR COMPOSED PIECE HERE…….…After a struggle, I escaped and ran towards the bush.

Many days passed, and then I ran into..No, it couldn’t be…Yes, it was…My own territorial boundary. I passed it and saw my tree and my mates who had kept out trespassers.

I climbed into the tree and had breakfast.

 

Can you use your creative writing skills to contribute to the missing piece of the story above?

If you were the possum, what would you see from the cage? How would you feel? What would you do to try to escape?

Remember to write from a little possum’s perspective who has no idea about the items and things in the human world!

 

Source of Narrative. Durkin, Ferguson, Sperring, (2002) Text Types for Primary Schools: Book 5. Page 45. OXFORD University Press

19 thoughts on “Narrative immersion

  1. Hey 5M,
    This is my new resolution

    That night I was put into a small cage made of rabbit-proof wire, It was so hard to get out of. I remember biting, clawing and raming the wire (it tasted like rock) nothing seemed to work, but after a struggle,I escaped and ran towards the bush.

    From Morgan

  2. Dear 5m,
    This Is my new resolution for the ‘I am a possum’ narrative. Enjoy reading it! From Cara

    It was very uncomfortable in the cage. I heard shouting from the inside of the house. I was scared. I thought to myself I must get out… somehow. I started scratching the cold metal as hard as I could, but it was no use. I saw a lock that kept me in, it was made out of flimsy plastic (how weak do they think I am?). I scratched the plastic lock (which fell as soon as I touched it) I then bursted out of the cage, smelling the fresh air.

  3. Dear 5m,
    This is my writing piece from ‘I am a Possum’
    That night I was put into a small cage made of rabbit-proof wire and couldn’t get out. I tried as hard as I could, but scratching didn’t work. I felt useless and could smell food, but I didn’t give up and persisted and finally, after a struggle, I escaped and ran towards the bush.
    Hope you enjoyed my resolution.
    From Ashlee.

  4. Dear 5M,
    Hope you enjoy the resolution for the narrative ‘I am a Possum’.

    I am a Possum

    That night I was put into a small cage made of rabbit-proof wire. I was really nervous, and the cage was so small I could hardly turn around and look at the wall behind me. Time after time I tried to squeeze my way through those tiny gaps in the cage. I could hear footsteps trotting down the stairs, so I quickly slipped back into the uncomfortable cage. After a long struggle, I escaped and ran towards the bush.

  5. Dear 5m,

    Here is my resolution for the I am a possum narrative enjoy reading it.
    There was no way out. I could taste death. But I wasn’t dead yet. Then I heard “should we let him go?” then I heard another voice “no it could kill us”. I knew I wouldn’t though. They left. I knew this was my time to go. Then after a struggle I escaped and ran towards the bush. I was still cold from the cage.

  6. Dear 5M,

    This is the resolution for ‘I am a Possum’ narrative.

    I am a Possum

    That night I was put into a small cage made of rabbit-proof wire……

    The night was the longest a night could be. I tried about ten different ways to get out, but it was a huge and tiring struggle. Unfortunately none succeeded. I tried to climb quickly up the wire, but that made no help as the human had placed rabbit-proof wire along the top. I tried digging a deep hole surprisingly it worked! I heard voices coming closer and closer. I continued to dig. I began to feel very, frightened!

    From Renee

  7. Dear 5m,
    Hi, I hope you like my resolution to ‘I am a possum’

    That night I was put into a small, rabbit-proof  wire…..

    I looked around, I was so frightened. Out of desperation I  did the only thing I could think of, I scratched, I clawed and I gnawed at the strong wire, I could taste the cold metal on my tongue. After some time I realized that it was no use and the wire hadn’t budged. In disappointment I sat in the corner and waited. After what had seemed like hours ( probably a few minutes) I still couldn’t get out. Then it happened, I saw it. It was a tiny, dull, wooden leaver. I walked over and tried to move it, then my pointy claw got stuck on the leaver ‘yes’ I thought.

    …..After a struggle, I escaped and ran towards the bush.

  8. Dear 5M,

    I looked around I couldn’t see anything, it was pitch black. I needed to get out. I started to gnaw at the sharp wire, it was very cold and it hurt my mouth but it broke a little bit. I started scratching at the wire with my with my long claws. Suddenly it snapped there was a loud noise, whoever was was holding me dropped the cage “crash!” the cage smashed on the floor and I got out, I ran for my life “get him yelled a voice”.

  9. Dear 5M possums,
    Here is a my resolution for I am a possum.
    “He’s a beauty the boss is going to be so happy with our work”, I over heard them saying, after being in the small cage for about 4 hours. I heard a loud engine ‘brooooom brooooom’. “The boss is here” explained the first man. “Okay I’m here are you guys going to show me the possum or what?” shouted the boss. They opened the rusty cage “screech”, I thought to myself it is now or never I jumped and scratched the boss’s nose.

  10. Dear 5M here is my resolution for ‘I am a possum’ narrative, enjoy reading it,
    I got angry being stuck in this old cage it was barbaric. I pushed on the cage door. I pushed and pushed. It was loose. I did one final nudge. It was open. Then I sprinted out of the cage but an alarm went off outside. I quickly hid in the trash when I heard the police sirens that went off loudly. 3 men went to the house to investigate. They found nothing so they left the house. They could not disable the alarm at all so it was still going off. I quickly rushed to the back door and there was a little hole. I went through it. Then a little kitten came up to me. I scratched the kitten’s paw and ran off into the dark. I made a gap in the middle of the fence.

  11. Dear 5m here is my resolution for the ‘I am a possum narrative. Hope you like it ! From Erin.
    That night I was put into a small cage made of rabbit-proof wire. I looked straight ahead. It was pitch black and I was very scared. Then I heard a loud screeching noise. I started pushing and punching the cage as hard as I could but then I looked to the left of my cage and I saw a lock. I grabbed the lock and tried to open the cage and I finally did. I jumped out and saw two huge humans, they tried to grab me so I scratched their feet and ran as fast as I could and leaped out the door.

  12. Dear 5M possums,

    Here is my resolution for ‘I am a possum’ narrative enjoy reading it!
    That night I was put into a small cage made of rabbit-proof wire. I was scared and hungry. The human walked passed with a plate of fresh water and juicy fruit. I licked my lips. Suddenly the man placed the tap water and succulent fruit in the cage. Then I thought to myself “I may never leave this place.” the man told me “eat up I need to go to my family.” A weird feeling came through my head when he said family. I looked around, I found a tiny hole in the cage that I can fit through the hole. It felt like a chainsaw scratching a tree and I was the tree.

  13. I hope you love this story I’m a possum
    To 5M
    When I was in that box I was very scared. I started to kick it made a tiny hole that
    did not work. So I scratched and scratched and scratched it just made a tiny hole again. I just realized a spider was in the box too. The Spider bit some of the box and I kicked it one more time and I was free them bad people were trying to get me I just kicked them in the face that put them bad people to sleep.

  14. Dear 5M,
    This is my writing piece for Captured-I am a possum.

    I was scared. For some time I just sat there. I didn’t know whether to try and escape or wait and see what happens. Every day I watched and saw what they were doing to open the rabbit-proof wire when the were giving me food. Eventually I tried to do what they did because they put something that had sharp edges into a hole and turned it so I tried to do that with my claws but it didn’t work. So next time when they got the food (it smelt disgusting) I was ready for them and climbed up the side of the cage (I felt the cold wire on my feet) and launched myself at the man.

    From Darren.

  15. Dear 5m, this is my resolution for the ‘I am a possum’ narrative. Enjoy reading it! From Nicola

    That night I was put into a small cage made of rabbit proof wire, I stared and tried finding a way out. I looked everywhere for a crack, or a hole but nothing was open. I saw something that looked like an opening, but I had to push it over. Just as I was about to ram it over there were footsteps coming. I pushed and pushed, the hard cold cage was digging into me, the footsteps came closer and closer. I pushed one more time “bang” the cage fell. I was free!

  16. Dear 5m

    Here is my resolution for the ‘I am a possum narrative’. Enjoy reading it from nick R

    I quickly thought that I could use my finger nail to escape and run away. But I couldn’t escape from the cage, just then I thought that my teeth could do the trick so, I got my tooth onto the wire and teared the wire apart. I could taste the cold wire.

  17. Dear 5m this is my paragraph for I am a possum

    That night I was put in a small cage made of rabbit proof wire. The room was pitch black. For a moment I thought this would be my life. Days went by and then it came to me, it was rabbit proof but not possum proof. So that night I got a short run up and then I charged into the cold bars of the cage, I fell and hit the ground with a crash. Then the Sirens and two grades ran in so I scratched them.

    From Callum

  18. DEAR 5M
    HERE IS MY RESOLUTION FOR THE “I AM A POSSUM” NARRATIVE. I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING IT! I WAITED UNTIL THE HUMANS WERE GONE IT WAS DARK I TRIED TO PUT MY PAWS INTO THE GAPS OF THE CAGE BUT IT WAS NO USE SO I FELL ASLEEP. I WOKE TO SEE A PERSON LIFTING ME AND TAKING me OUTSIDE; I STARTED Squirming. FINALLY I WAS PUT DOWN BUT BACK IN THAT DARN CAGE, WHEN I REALIZED THAT THERE WAS A BIG HOLE AND I COULD GET OUT IT CLOSED I HERD THAT ROAR SOUND. I WAS IN THE DARK AGAIN AND BEING CARRIED. I WAS BEING HELD AGAIN I COULD SMELL MY TREE IT WAS MY TREE! AND BUSHES I RAN TO THEM (AFTER A STRUGGLE, I ESCAPED AND RAN TOWARD THE BUSH) BUT I JUST MADE IT PASSED THE FLYING HANDS INTO THE BUSHES.
    BY LARA

  19. Dear Mrs Morgan and 5M,

    I have looked though your blog and it looks great. I like your posts. Your background awesome. The I am a possum narritive was a great story and I hope we do another narritive soon. I hope you get a lot of comments on your blog from other people in the other grades.

    I hope you have time to look though our grade blog. All of 5M’s blogs are fantastic I hope you all enjoy Bloging

    Erin 🙂

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